Friends with Benefits

Ito yung klaseng relasyon na magkaibigan lang talaga kayo at walang commitment sa isa’t isa pero parang kayo dahil sa pinapakita niyo. Matatawag din landian dahil sa pinaggagawa nyong dalawa.. Sweet kau, my callsign pwede kayong magkayakapan kapag gusto niyo at pwede kayong maghalikan kapag gusto niyo din. Ganyan kayo pero walang matatawag na “TAYO”

Ito ung relasyon na hindi ka dapat makaramdam ng emosyon pero hindi maiiwasan dahil habang tumatagal nahuhulog kana at napapamahal sa taong walang kasiguraduhan na relasyong meron kayo.. May makakaramdam na ng pagtatampo, pagseselos, pagkagalit, at napapaisip na lang kung tama ba ung nararamdam mo. Ung nagseselos ka kasi my kausap syang iba, Nagtatampo ka dahil minsan wala na syang time sau, nagagalit ka kasi sa tingin mo nakikipaglandian na sya sa iba. May karapatan ka pero hindi mo pede ipaglaban. Dahil hindi naman sya sayo at wala naman na matatawag na “TAYO”

Sa ganitong uri ng pagsasama mas nasasaktan ang mga babae kasi mas madali silang mahulog at mainlove sa pinapakita at pinaparamdam ng mga lalake kaya di maiwasan na mag assume sila.

At Sa ganitong pakikisama rin pwedeng may mawala agad o may umiwas kapag nagsawa. Ito yung relasyon na kapag kailangan mo siya andiyan siya pero walang emosyon at walang relasyon kayong pinanghahawakan. Sa panahon natin ngayon, madami na ang ganito ang gusto dahil nga mas nagagawa nila yung gusto nila. Pwede ka makipag landian sa iba kapag wala ka sa mood sa kanya. Kapag ganito yung relasyon niyo wag ka masaktan kapag nawala siya sayo ng biglaan dahil nung una palang dapat inisip muna na pwede talaga siyang mawala kapag nagsawa na siya.

Sa ganito uri din na relasyon mas madalas nauunang magsawa ang mga lalake kasi may mga nakikilala silang iba.
Hindi naman masama magkaroon ng ganitong uri ng relasyon pero pwede niyo namang mas e level up sa pagiging mag syota eh kung gugustuhin niyo lang talaga .

I’m Sorry for Disappointing you

For not fulfilling my promises and your wants and demands. For breaking them. That I put you into shattering.

I’m sorry for disappointing you, everyone that I love.

I’m sorry for being not a good child and for being not better. For being imperfect. I’m sorry that I don’t have academic recognitions and distinctions Mom, Dad.

I’m sorry, to all my friends. That I am just like this. Hopeless, empty, lonely and painful. Always helpless. Always dramatic over anything and everything. That I’m always overthinking and always wants to sort out all my strife.

To the society, I’m so sorry. So sorry that I didn’t fit in. That I don’t achieved and surpassed all your expectations to do something and be like someone. I’m sorry that I can’t. For being lower than ordinary and for being weaker than weak. For being just like this. For being a failure.

To myself, sorry that you are just a coward cat and not a courageous lion you’ve expected and planned to be. You did not overcome your fears in being not good enough, doing not enough, losing the ones you care about and if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you. You’ve been always afraid to fail and dash the hopes. You always attracted the wrong people. You didn’t fight enough to win the battles of your psyche.

I am so sorry that I lost everyone, even myself.

The Tired Heart

Sometimes I wish I get lost. Then I’ll cry my heart out as if because I’m hopeless of wandering around. But the truth is, I want to cry on how hard it is to determine where your place is into some people’s hearts or if you ever belong into theirs.

I have always felt like I need to beg for people’s attention and for them to somehow think of me. I have always felt like I need to earn for people’s appreciation and for them to somehow like me.

But most of the times, I wish I get lost so I could walk thousands of miles for me to feel how tired I am, how tired I have been and that maybe it’s time to stop begging people. Because you know it’s draining everything in me, that no matter how much effort I put and how far the best I give, I feel worthless. Because when I say it’s draining everything in me, I mean it’s draining my self-worth, too.

And hopefully, finally, I’ll walk this road with my head held high and smile.

Afraid

I’m afraid of….

I’m afraid of things that i don’t understand. I’m afraid of people who i think are more successful than me. I’m afraid of failures. I’m afraid to be hurt. I’m afraid that i may live a long life without even knowing my true purpose, just a lost soul drifting away from life’s true meaning.

But you know what’s that thing that I’m afraid the most? It’s living a life full of what if’s! I’m afraid that one day i may end up old in my bed, wondering what could have happened if i tried, if i at least try and give it my best shot. I’m sure God is with me thru all of these.

And so now I’m trying, taking the most out of every opportunity life throws at me. I might be risking a lot, might be ending up losing my own battle, but at least i tried, i am trying and i will try.

Unfriending is Okay

Walang mali sa pag iwas sa isang tao na nagbibigay ng negative vibe sayo, protektahan natin yung kapayapaan na meron tayo. Wag natin hayaang sirain tayo ng isang kaibigan na hindi pareho ang pakiramdam sayo. Hindi naman porke iniwasan mo sya eh may galit ka na, as we grow old kailangan natin maintindihan na hindi lahat ng tao pareho ang ugali sa umpisa hanggang sa huli. Lahat tayo nagbabago. Maswerte ka kung mas maaga mong maiisip yon. Mas maaagapan mo yung sarili mong masaktan. Mas maswerte ka naman kung may kaibigan kang never ipinaramdam sayo na kulang ka. Na may mali sayo. We all need a friend na kahit anong katangahan o kagagahan ang nagawa mo, dinadala ka sa tama hindi yung ipinagkakalat pa sa iba at gagamitin laban sayo bilang bala.

Isa pa, Matuto tayong maging propesyonal sa mga bagay, kung kakausapin ka ng UN-FRIEND mo sumagot ka ng may respeto, kahit hindi na bilang isang kaibigan, kundi bilang tao.

hindi natin kailangan ng madaming kaibigan, magkaron ka ng isang totoong tao sa tabi mo, ikaw na din ang isa sa pinaka maswerteng tao sa mundo.

negativity blocks the blessing.

Disconnection from negativity can bless your life.

Wag tayong matakot mawalan ng kaibigan, kasi ang totoong kaibigan kahit hindi mo sabihan, hindi ka iiwan. πŸ‘†πŸ’˜πŸ™

Maybe We Weren’t on the same Page

Maybe we weren’t on the same page

You never told me you love me

I never know that being loved can sometimes get scary.

You are afraid of commitments

And I’m sorry if I did scare you

I’m sorry if my love scared you.

I’m sorry for being the way I am

I am clingy and I check on you everytime,

I unfearfully love because when I do love, I tell you thousand times, unfrightened that it might bother you,

You, you never told me you love me.

I unfearfully love by telling you how much you mean to me, unscared that you might not love me the same way I do

You, you never told me you love me

When I love, I just let it show

You, you never told me you love me

You never told me you love me

And I wouldn’t hate you for being a coward,

I wouldn’t hate you for the false hopes you brought to me for being a coward.

Instead, I’m sorry if when I love, I give it all. I’m sorry.

I’m setting you free from my chains that scare the hell out of you.

Thank you for that one moment when you fearlessly tell me that I did make you happy.

I am happy.

I am happy that at least,

I did make you happy.

We weren’t on the same page